Ask the Flock!
by Air meepit
Summary: Random announcer: It is a story with epic random crack. Ayla: Who are you! Nathalie who is he! Nathalie: I thought you hired him. Ayla: No, I didn't! Nathalie: Huh. STALKER. Fang: Ok, enough crack. Go. Max: I LIKE CHEESE! Ayla: Still! Just read this.


-Fang is shoved into a huge room-

Fang: What the-?

-Max falls from the ceiling-

Max: Crap it!

-Angel skips in, Total trotting alongside her-

Angel: Max, Fang!

-Ella and Iggy are shoved out through the closet-

Ella: Ow!

Iggy: Where am I? I CAN SEE!

-Nudge and Gazzy are dropped from the ceiling-

Nudge: Owie. Where are we? Where- -rambles on-

Gazzy: SHUT UP!

?: Welcome to the FAMILY FEUD!

Max: Family feud? Isn't that a TV show?

?: I'm just kiddin' ya! Welcome to Ask The Flock!

- A girl comes out of no where-

Girl: Hello, I'm Elizabeth. Otherwise known as Ayla.

Fang: Hey… You're-

Ayla: Your sister? Mhm.

Fang: No, I was gonna say strange.

Ayla: Er, no. Strange is bad, weird is good.

Max: FANG! I THOUGHT YOU WERE -SPOILERS-

Fang: I was, but now I'm here.

Max: … Yay.

Ayla: Okay, so let me explain th- Wait. -Grabs a keyboard out of no where and starts typing. Another girl and a boy are dropped from the ceiling-

Other girl person: OW! Son of a -this word has been removed due to the rating of this fic-

Boy: Well, um…. GET OFF ME NATHALIE!

Nathalie: WELL EXCUSE ME! I FELL THROUGH A CEILING! Zeus JT, shut up.

JT: GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON NOT TO KICK YOUR-

Ayla: SHUT UP ALREADY!

Iggy: Great, I think I might go deaf too.

Total: They talk more then Nudge.

Nudge: They talk more then Total.

Ella: -Clings onto Iggy-

Gazzy: Well, this is fun and all, but I'm bored, Ig let's find a lighter and some cupcakes.

Iggy: Kay.

Ayla: No blowing items up.

Gazzy:…. We're just going to have flaming cupcakes.

Ayla: Oh, in that case then, okay.

-Iggy and Gazzy walk to the kitchen and Ella, Angel, Nudge, and Total follow-

Max: -Dramatic pause- Why are we here?

Ayla: Aww, Zeus here we go. Don't go Transformers on me.

Max: I wasn't.

Ayla: Ah. Well, you're in Ask the Flock. Kinda like Ask the Saturdays with my friend Nathalie, but with the theme of the Secret Saturdays. I take dares and we ALL do them. ALL DARES ARE EXCEPTED! Which reminds me. -Deep breath-

-Dylan, Jeb, Ari, and Valencia Martinez fall from the ceiling-

Dylan: Ouch. Where- Oh hey Max. - Walks over to her and she steps away towards Fang-

Max: Okaaay, but who are _they? _-Points to Nathalie and JT-

Ayla: My friend/sister Nathalie, and my boyfriend JT.

Nathalie: I got mentioned first.

JT: I don't care.

Ayla: Hey, shut it.

Fang: So, you're saying we're stuck in here with no way out to do dares?

-All mouths drop at all Fang said-

Ayla: Pretty much, but dude, you just said… -pretends to count- Fourteen words.

Fang: So?

Ayla: -shrugs- But, I have something I want to do. Max, get over here.

Max: -Walks over, not knowing what Ayla's doing-

Ayla: -Takes out a needle titled: Valium, and injects Max with it- This should be fun.

Max: Oh god, NO!

Valencia: Oh dear.

Jeb: Ah Christ.

Ari: … Where's the popcorn for this? -Looks around-

Dylan: What, what's going on?

Jeb: In book three, Max gets this chip out of her arm, but has Valium and it makes her say different stuff.

Fang: Imma hide.

Ayla: Nope.

Fang: I have wings, so make me.

Ayla: Well, so does everyone here. You know, except for Jeb, Ella, and Valencia.

Jeb: …

Valencia: …

Fang: Wait, so the writer gets wings?

Ayla: _Writers. _And yes, we do.

Fang: -Word removed-

Ayla: -Giggles evilly, then stretches out gold and white wings-

Nathalie: So… So, you're saying we get wings? - Stretches out white and brown owl wings-

JT: -Spreads out red and black wings- Nice.

Max: Fang, I love you this much! -puts her arms out wide-

Fang: Oh god.

Max: Dylan, I've decided I might like you a little bit.

Dylan: Yay.

JT: I'm surprised Eliz- I mean Ayla. You haven't fainted yet.

Ayla: I'm surprised too.

Nathalie: Why would she faint?

JT: -Points at Fang-

Nathalie: Ah.

Max: Ayla, I think you're cool, JT and Nathalie hiddenly love each other.

Ayla: O.o

-Nathalie and JT both make barfing noises-

JT: But I love Ayla!

Nathalie: And I love- What do I love…?

Ayla: I dunno, cheese?

Nathalie: Okay. Not the person, the item, food, thing. Yeah.

Max: Hehe, funny octopus.

Dylan: What is WRONG with her?

Ayla: A hidden addiction to valium.

Max: I like pie.

Ari: This is hilarious.

Valencia: Poor Max.

Jeb: I agree.

Ayla: -Clings to JT-

JT: -Grins-

Nathalie: Someday….

JT: Listen Ayla, about your birthday…. Can I see the keyboard.

Ayla: Yeah, sure. -Hands him the keyboard, watching Max scream and run in circles-

Fang: I'm ending it. -Walks to Max calmly, then grabs her and kisses her. Max's eyes are wide-

Ayla: Aw…

Nathalie: o.o

JT: Ayla, here's the keyboard. -Hands it back to her and she goes to type. There's a ring-

Ayla: What's this? -Picks it up and stares, then puts it on-

JT: Happy very early birthday.

Nathalie: I KNEW IT!

Ayla:… Are you turning into Fang or something?

JT: No, I just wanted to get you that for your birthday because-

-A loud explosion is heard, and everyone falls over. Max "falls" on Fang, Valencia falls on Jeb, and Ayla falls on JT-

Jeb: Hello, Valencia.

Valencia: Hi Jeb… -gets up, helping Jeb-

JT: -Rolls so he's on top-

Ayla: O.o -gets out from under JT- IGGY! GAZZY! WHAT DID YOU DO?

Gazzy: It was Iggy!

Iggy: No, it was Gazzy's idea!

-Everyone stands-

Ayla: -Runs to the kitchen. Once there, she sees the girls and total in the fetal position- What happened?

Iggy: Well, GAZZY, blew up a few cupcakes and the oven.

Gazzy: GR.

Ayla: Meh. -Types on the keyboard and the kitchen is restored. She leaves and jumps into the air, rising. She types, bored, and a mic and speakers appear. She drops the key board to have Fang catch it. She starts singing Every time We Touch by Cascada, the fast version, and somehow, the fast versions music plays, and she stands on a floating platform-

JT: -Chuckles-

Nathalie: Sweet.

Fang: Cool. Does she take requests?

JT: Most likely.

Fang: Awesome.

Nathalie: I doubt she takes scream-o.

Fang: Then I shall ask her to sing Green Day.

Nathalie: Wait, why don't we have a radio? Or better yet, poof the people here?

Fang: Ayla must like singing.

Nathalie: … Meh, you.

JT: Her singing is nice though.

Nathalie: I hear it every time she comes to my house.

JT: Yeah, well, I hear it every time we're together.

Nathalie: Obviously. So shut up Genius boy.

JT: Make. : -Jumps on his back and tackles him- I will kick you where the sun don't shine.

JT:…Yipe.

Nathalie: That's what I thought. So try not to get on my bad side.

JT: Fine. -gets away from Nathalie-

-Ayla hops down from the platform-

Ayla: ^^

JT: Hyper much?

Ayla: Not really.

Fang: Sing. Er…

Nathalie: Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot.

Fang: No. 21 Guns.

Ayla: Sure, I guess.

JT: Out of pure curiosity, I'm going in the closet. -walks into the closet-

Ayla: O.O [I'll be there AFTER the song] -flies up and starts sing 21 Guns-

Max: I LIKE PANCAKES! -Still on Valium and it only got worse from Fang kissing her-

Nathalie: ME TOO! I LIKE THEM DRENCHED IN SYRUP!

Max: It makes good soup.

Nathalie: Yes it does.

Fang: Oh god.

Ari: Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Nathalie: You said wait four times. What's up?

Ari: What's up? WHAT'S UP? I'M DEAD!

Nathalie: QUIT YELLING AT ME BEFORE I KILL YOU AGAIN!

-Ayla comes back and before anyone can stop her, walks into the closet-

Nathalie: HEY! NO GOING IN THE CLOSET ALONE TOGETHER! NO, BETTER! NO ONE GOES IN THE CLOSET WITH AN OBVIOUS PAIRING!

Dylan: -Stares at Nathalie-

Nathalie: -Notices his staring- What are YOU looking at?

Dylan: Your eyes.

Nathalie: … Well quit it. Before I punch you and make you choke on this ring!

Dylan: I don't want to.

Fang: I see a possible pairing. Dylan and Nathalie, no going in the closet together.

Nathalie: I WASN'T PLANNING TO!

Fang: Suuure you weren't.

Nathalie: -Jumps on him- SHUT UP, THE BOY'S A FREAKING MORON!

Fang: B-

Nathalie: FREAKING MORON!

Dylan: … -Walks away sadly-

Max: Nathalie I think he liiiiiiiiiiiiiikes .

Nathalie: Nice.

Fang: -Sigh-

Nathalie: No, I will not get off you anytime soon!

Fang: Why not?

Nathalie: Because, there's a great view.

Fang: You like me.

Nathalie: I might.

Fang: You're a Fan-g-irl.

Nathalie: -Twitches-

Fang: What do you think Ayla and JT are doing?

Nathalie: …. Making out.

Fang: O.o

Nathalie: Haha, you got creeped out!

Fang: Kind of.

-Ayla stumbles out of the closet and JT exits, grabbing her so she doesn't fall over-

Fang and Nathalie: O.o

Fang: -whispers to Nathalie- Are you SURE they were just making out?

Nathalie: I hope!

Ayla: Hope what?

Nathalie and Fang: Nothing!

JT: Uh huh, sure.

Nathalie: So… What were you two doing?

JT: What do YOU think we were doing?

Fang: Below the waist, above the knees.

Ayla and JT: O.o

JT: Fang, there MUST be something wrong with you.

Fang: SHUT UP!

Nathalie: …

Ayla: We were only kissing.

Nathalie: I'll believe that when dogs- Kids- This doesn't work, does it?

Fang: Not _really._

JT: Smarts.

Nathalie: Excuse me?

JT: Nothing.

Ayla: WAIT! -Types on keyboard and Omega falls through the ceiling-

Omega: Jesus, where am I?

Max: OMEGA! HI!

Omega: Wait! I HAVE EMOTIONS.

Max: -Runs and hugs him- Good fir you BUDDY!

Omega: Um… Hi my faithful enemy…

Max: I like cookies, yes I do. I like cookies, how about you?

Everyone except Max: Sure… I like cookies…

Max: I'm not alone in this world yay!

Everyone except Max: Yay, good for you…

Max: I hate you, you hate me, lets get together and kill Barney. I'll get the matches, you get the gas, lets go light up Barney's -Word removed due to the rating of this fic-

Ayla: -Bursts out laughing-

JT: -Grins at this, realizing he could replace Barney with someone he hates-

Nathalie: I'll get the gas! -Runs to find some-

Fang: Matches! -runs to get them-

Ayla: Zeus, here we go.

JT: I know, right?

Ayla: … I'm off to beat Iggy in DDR.

JT: …?

Nathalie: DDR?

Iggy: You're on!

Ayla: BRING IT ON YOU BLIND BIRD PERSON!

Iggy: I can see slightly, dumby.

Ayla: GR.

JT: Well, this will end…..

Nathalie: Badly? Catastrophic? Graphically painful? Iggy and Ayla hooking up?

JT: … Scratch that last one.

Nathalie: Hm…. No, I'm gonna keep it.

JT: -Word removed-

Nathalie: -Word removed-

Ayla: Haters. -Runs to play DDR with Iggy-

Nathalie: -Sigh- I'm going to apologize to blondie. Baseball bat, please.

Angel: What did I do?

Nathalie: Not you!

Gazzy: I didn't do anything either!

Nathalie: I MEANT DYLAN!

Gaz and Angel: God, sorry.

Nathalie: It's fine. -Twitch- Perfectly… Fine. -Twitch twitch-

Gazzy: Okay then, but… Is your eye okay?

Nathalie: [Just walk away] -Turns and leaves to resume her search for gasoline and apologize to blondie-

JT: Oh Zeus…. Nathalie, come see this! They're playing on Hare Hare Yukai and Ayla is kicking -word removed-

Nathalie: I don't care.

JT: :O Why?

Nathalie: Blondie is killing me. Guilt is eating me.

JT: Don't need to hear a story.

Nathalie: Wasn't trying to tell one!

JT: Uh huh.

Nathalie: I'll kick your -word removed- man.

JT: I'd like to see you try.

Fang: I FOUND THE MATCHES!

Nathalie: Yes! Thank the Gods! Help me find the gas! Quickly, so we can burn Barney to a crisp! [And JT.]

Fang: Yes! -They walk away to find the gas-

Total: Anyway, JT, what's up with the ring?

JT: …..

Ayla: I think I'm going to find some valium.

Max: I WON'T BE ALONE!

Ayla: Yep. -Types on the keyboard and makes some valium appear-

JT: You're positive about this?

Ayla: Uhuh.

JT: Really?

Ayla: Yep! It sounds FUN!

JT: Okay, whatever you say…

Ayla: Woo! One LAST thing. -Types on the keyboard and a 16 year old appears-

JT: Oh Gods…

Ayla: Hello Cris! I'm about to do something incredibly stupid and idiotic! -Plunges valium into her arm-

JT: Again, oh gods.

Cris: What was that?

JT: Valium.

Cris: -Stares at JT-

JT: Loopy syrup. It-

Ayla: WEE! -Flies into a wall-

Nathalie: That is going to hurt in the morning. Fang, find the gas. Quickly. The faster we find it, the faster we burn Barney to a crisp. And the idiot that is JT.

Ayla: I feel dizzy.

JT: Is she gonna be okay?

Nathalie: I have noooo clue.

Ayla: I can't feel my torso!

Nathalie: Caboose!

Cris and JT: Who?

Nathalie: Say another Caboose line!

Ayla: I think I'm going to stop standing up now. -Falls to the ground-

Nathalie: Oh dear.

Ayla: I think, my body, is trying, to die.

Nathalie: I think she could be a linebacker. Or a vampire. Or a vampire linebacker. That'd be crazy!

Cris: Are you on valium too?

Nathalie: NOPE!

Ayla: Nathalie, if I die I want you to have my mango juice.

Nathalie: Sweet.

Cris: Shut up Ayla.

Ayla: Ablaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Cris: Shut up, Ayla.

JT: -Walks away-

Ayla: Don't leave me with the horrible incubus.

Cris: Shut up Ayla!

Ayla: Now he's cursing at me!

Nathalie: -Staring at Cris- You have never watched Red vs. Blue, and yet you know the lines!

Cris: I guess.

Ayla: I looooooooove you Cris!

Cris: Okay then.

JT: I heard you, Ayla!Ayla: I KNOW YOU DID MY LOOOOOOVE!

Nathalie: Uh… Good for you?

Ayla: Nathalie, I'm bored.

Nathalie: You're on valium. You'll find something to do event-

Ayla: Ooh. Shiny lights!

Nathalie: More Cabooseness.

JT: -Comes back-

Nathalie: I think we shall end the chapter.

Fang: Next chapter we blow Barney up!

JT: Sweet.

Ayla: NOOOO! WE CAN'T END IT HERE! -Flailing arm motions-

Nathalie: That must've been A LOT of valium.

Cris: Anyway. I'm Cris.

Nathalie: I think we've established that.

Cris: I was going to… Sign off.

Nathalie: Oh. I'm Nathalie.

JT: I'm-

Nathalie: The Idiot.

JT: JT.

Ayla: I'm ALYA POSEION LAST NAME!

JT: -Cough- Rothbauer. -Cough-

Nathalie: -Slaps JT- Shut up, not yet! Not if Haley and I have anything to say about it!

Ayla: I'm wearing a tie. -Plays with the tie-

Cris: We can see that.

Nathalie: -Puts a hand on Ayla's shoulder- We can ALL see that.

Ayla: -Breaks into song- Do you believe? IN DESTINY!

Nathalie: -Covers Ayla's mouth- End the CHAPTER! End it now! OR LIVES WILL BE LOST!

Cris: OUR LIVES ALL DEPEND ON IT!

JT: Well this has been Ask the Flock. Bye!

Everyone except Ayla: BYE! -Ayla waves-


End file.
